Posts Tagged “New Year’s resolution”
It’s that time again. Time to look at getting a fresh start on another year. Odd thing is even though many people plan on making some sort of New Year’s resolution few, if any, will follow through with it.
So for 2015 why not go with the flow and start out with a resolution you know you have a good chance of keeping. Let’s set the bar low. I’m tired of always “raising the bar.” Let’s lower it for a change. One thing I’m going to do is get ready for the obvious upcoming “Zombie Apocalypse.” Now that’s a low bar. Who would have thought back in the 60’s that here in the modern 21st century we would be facing a horde of zombies. Now I’m not against all zombies. fter all, I was married to one for several years.
You would think that the TV and movie writers could come up with something better and be more creative these days. Zombies have been around for as long as vampires and werewolves have. They are as old as Godzilla himself. Zombies have been the subject of films and horror shows from about 1918. They are also a part of Haitian Voodoo, and people even believe they exist today. I know one thing for sure. You can’t turn on the TV today without a plethora of zombie shows on all kinds of channels and at all times of the day. I’m expecting those libtards on “The View” to have some zombies on so they can complain about how the average zombie is oppressed by our capitalist society.
After all, zombies have always been exploited by those big Hollywood types. You know the ones I’m referring too. The ones who got hacked at Sony and had their e-mails reveled that showed how much of a racist and bigot they really are. The great 1959 Ed Wood movie Plan 9 from Outer Space had actor Tor Johnson playing the part of a crazed zombie. Tor was always good in those memorable roles. White Zombie, a 1932 film, starred Ed Wood’s favorite actor Bela Lugosi. You may recall that Bela was famous for his role in the 1931 film Dracula.
The 1968 film Night of the Living Dead was perhaps the greatest zombie movie of all time. It crossed a vampire with a zombie and created what is now known as the blood sucking vampire-zombie that we have today. Zombies seem to hang around railroad yards and truck stops a lot. And for some strange reason you can never outrun a zombie. Regardless of how slow they may stumble and drag their feet, their victim always seems to fall and never be able to get up in time. Odd thing how zombies never seem to stumble or fall themselves.
One thing I have always wondered is why you only see zombies roaming about out at night. You would think that if you only had one eye, as many zombies do, that it would be easier to walk about in the daylight.
If I was a zombie I would hang out at fitness clubs. With all that sweating and stuff at fitness clubs people would think that I just had a hard workout. You could sneak up behind your victim when they are on the tread climber with their music playing in their ear and CHOMP! There, you got them.
My dentist told me that several of his patients actually believe in zombies. I guess if you believe that big government is the answer to the problems in your life, then zombies aren’t much of a stretch. On thing I know for sure is that zombies can be blown away with a Smith and Wesson. So if you need a good news years resolution, then getting ready for the zombie apocalypse should be at the top of your list. There are always some good deals on anti zombie guns right after the new year.
Make sure you get a nice large caliber. Something in a 44 or 45 would be nice! See you all at the range.
Larry Oscar is a graduate from the University of Tulsa and holds a degree in electrical engineering. He is retired and lives with his wife on a lake in Oklahoma where he brews his own beer, sails, and is a member of numerous clubs and organizations.