20 Gallons of Home Brew, Just May Not Be Enough!
By Larry Oscar
“Boy this has been a rough winter. I’m depressed and just can’t get motivated” quipped a friend of mine recently. “I just don’t know what to do when I’m all cooped up inside.”
I hear this all the time from people who just don’t plan ahead. It’s not like they don’t know when the cold weather is going to hit. I got news for them, it happens every year! Duh! Good planning for winter projects and indoor events can make the difference between being bored and making the cold winter months something tolerable. There is more to life than just sitting around reading Playboy magazines….. so I’m told.
I keep a list of indoor and outdoor projects. If I do the indoor projects when I can’t be out on the lake, then I will have more time to spend on the water when the weather is good. So far I haven’t ran out of indoor projects, and even though the winter has been a long one, It has been rewarding knowing that I have caught up on things.
And I’ve got 20 gallons of home brew to show for my efforts.
And how can anybody be depressed this year? Thanks to all of the clowns in our society you surely can’t avoid a smile. Didn’t people take note of the Donald and Rosie feud a while back? Here are two real bozos that you can smile about. And how about our Congress? I can’t help but laugh at them. What’s with the first 100 hours thing? I didn’t see any life changing legislation pass across anyone’s desk – and virtually nothing has been done since. So far all I’ve seen is bickering What’s is non binding legislation anyway? Don’t they have anything better to do with our money than sit around and argue over legislation that adds no value to our lives. Don’t these people work for us? What would your boss do if you spent your time working on something that didn’t produce anything of any value?
I think we should outsource Congress. We could march on Washington and fire them all. Wouldn’t you like to walk right into a session, march up to the podium, grab the microphone and announce… “Hey guys, just to let you know. You’re all fired! We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, have decided to outsource your jobs to India. Don’t let your gavel hit you in the #@$#$ on the way out!” Sounds pretty good to me. Will Rogers just gets smarter every day.
I just can’t get depressed when I see some weird haired nut place led alien bird flipping signs all over Boston and cause panic in the streets. Will somebody tell that idiot that making a “hair statement” went out in the 60s? To top it all off, it was Turner Broadcasting that hired him. Do you think maybe there is a link to Jane Fonda here?
And now we watch as one of our astronauts drives from Texas to Florida wearing a diaper, wig, and trench coat so she can pepper spray her rival for the affections of another astronaut. He must be some hunk! I can’t wait until the next shuttle launch. They will have to modify their count down procedure to include ” fuel…go, telemetry…go, diapers…go, pepper spray…go, trench coats…go, wigs…go, ok all systems go and ready for launch”.
Now this is the sort of material comedy writers can only dream of, and it’s reality folks. No Seinfeld episode or Super Bowl commercial ever had better material.
Ahhh…Life in the US is good. You just can’t get better comedy than our real life in the good old USA. Even if you go to Venezuela and watch Hugo Chavez, he’s just a one-man-show when compared to us. I’m not sure that 20 gallons of home brew will last very long. I think I’ll make another 20. Laughing so hard this winter has made my mouth dry.